‘I’ve ended up within the ER twice’: when Valentine’s Day goes horribly mistaken | Nicely truly

Ah, Valentine’s Day. An event for love, romance and same-day flower deliveries. There are many pleasant tales about fantastic 14 February experiences: candy gestures, considerate phrases, serendipitous encounters.

However generally it doesn’t go fairly to plan. Guardian readers shared tales of their worst Valentine’s Day with us. When you’re feeling down this 14 February, simply assume – at the very least you’re not relationship somebody needed by Interpol.

Solutions have been edited and condensed for readability.

The misplaced fingertip

Twenty years in the past, my husband, 1.5-year-old son and I have been dwelling in California. My husband, very sweetly, determined to make me a Valentine’s Day lunch, together with a ham sandwich. With a flourish of the knife, he opened the plastic packaging of the ham. He additionally took off the highest of one in every of his fingers. There was numerous blood, so I ran round discovering issues to wrap the hand in. It was clear he needed to go to [the emergency department], however the place was the highest of the finger? We weren’t fast sufficient, and the canine ate it. The remainder of the day was spent on the hospital.
Fiona, 58, British Columbia

Fourth time’s the allure

One Valentine’s Day in school, I used to be dumped over Zoom by my long-distance boyfriend. On the decision, I opened the bundle he’d despatched me. It was a relationship recommendation e book.

Three years later, a distinct accomplice and I had booked a visit over Valentine’s Day. The day we have been meant to go away, he instructed me he had cancelled the reservation. Once I requested what he needed to do as a substitute, he stated: “Cease seeing one another.”

Two Valentine’s Days later, my long-distance girlfriend and I have been purported to name one another and cook dinner a meal on the similar time. I acquired a shock supply of ice-cream and she or he cancelled our name. We broke up.

Finally, my spouse broke my curse, and we’ve loved many uneventful Valentine’s Days collectively since.
Elyse, 28, Missouri

The one which acquired cancelled

In second grade, the instructor acquired mad at us as a result of we have been so excited to cross our Valentine’s playing cards to one another. She instructed us that Valentine’s Day was cancelled, and she or he proceeded to tear up all our playing cards in entrance of the category. Very traumatic for seven-year-olds.
Michael, 75, Arizona

A wholesome reward

On our first Valentine’s after six months of relationship, he gave me a field of protein bars and a pizza cutter.
JM, Illinois

‘Is that this from you?’

On Valentine’s Day 2021, I used to be sat with my husband of almost 20 years – my accomplice and father of my youngsters – watching David Niven in A Matter of Life and Loss of life. I had simply discovered a heart-shaped crisp within the bowl and was feeding it to him lovingly when his cellphone pinged. Up got here a picture of a Valentine’s card and the phrases: “Is that this from you?” He had despatched a Valentine’s card to his 23-year-old colleague, a younger girl who had not been born once we first acquired collectively. The day didn’t finish properly. Our divorce might be finalized within the subsequent few months.
Sarah, 54, Lytham St Annes

Questioned by Interpol

I had been relationship a colleague barely senior to me, and fairly a bit older. He invited me to Madrid for Valentine’s weekend, and I booked a stunning lodge. We flew in on Friday night. On Saturday, whereas sightseeing, we have been stopped by two members of Interpol. They questioned my accomplice at size and demanded to see his passport. My Spanish was rudimentary at finest, however from what I might glean, they thought he was a drug supplier. Later that afternoon, we went to a big artwork exhibition, and realized we have been being adopted.

That night, we went to dinner and I made a remark about possibly introducing him to my mother and father. However we had a heated dialogue which continued by the next morning on to the aircraft, the place we lastly cut up up.

It turned out he had a second driver’s license with a distinct identify in his pockets, so who is aware of who he even was.
Nameless

Robust love

Again within the Seventies, I used to be working in a public library – my first job after leaving library college. I believed I knew all of it, and was not fashionable with my fellow staff. There was one lady I somewhat fancied, and on Valentine’s Day she known as me and stated she want to go on a lunch date with me. In keen anticipation, I waited on the library steps for her to show up. And waited. And waited. I stored seeing my colleagues within the background laughing. Finally I spotted they’d organized this “date” to deliver me down a peg.
Iain, 77, Guisborough

The ex-factor

Ten years in the past, me and my then accomplice have been dwelling in separate international locations, and I used to be nearly to maneuver to hers. I had the romantic concept of flying over on Valentine’s Day, which fell on a Friday, to shock her. I waited on the garden outdoors the hospital the place she labored, dreaming of her delight. She was stunned, however not in a great way. She made some excuse about being drained after her shift, which was comprehensible. I felt like a douche. Later that day, when her temper was nonetheless bizarre, I pressed her and discovered that she had organized for her ex-girlfriend to come back and keep along with her that weekend.
Nameless

Nudie noodles

My accomplice stated he was going to cook dinner a meal for me: a starter and a pudding, the works! I arrived dwelling from work round 6.30pm, and was stunned to see the kitchen precisely as I left it. No signal of purchasing or cooking. And no signal of him.

I went upstairs and into our bed room, and he was sat up bare in mattress, consuming a pot noodle. He stated there was one within the kitchen for me. Apparently, on his strategy to do the purchasing, he had met up with a pal, they usually spent the day within the pub.
Rachel, 63, Blackford

That’s not the bathroom …

My then boyfriend and I have been three years into our relationship and dwelling collectively. His favourite band was enjoying within the metropolis on Valentine’s night time. Fairly than keep in with me or get me a ticket too, he went to see the live performance and left me at dwelling by myself.

I loved the peace and quiet. That’s, till I woke as much as discover him drunkenly urinating within the soiled garments hamper within the nook of the room. I marched him off to sleep on the sofa. He didn’t keep in mind a factor the subsequent morning. That was our final Valentine’s Day collectively.
Nameless

There goes the stripper pole

I’ve ended up within the ER on Valentine’s Day twice to this point. The primary time, I used to be at a good friend’s home attending a singles-only get together. This good friend had a stripper pole mounted in her front room. At one level, I swung round it on my strategy to the kitchen for one more drink. I didn’t a lot swing as proceed straight alongside, with the pole in tow. I hit my head on the nook of the espresso desk, and ripped my ear in half.

The second time, I used to be in a long-distance relationship and was trying to make use of a kind of mould kits so I might ship her a duplicate of my privates. I used to be bare, apart from a hoop round my components to maintain all the things agency. I used to be utilizing an immersion blender to combine the mould materials. It thickened too quick and jammed the blender. I uncared for to unplug the blender earlier than clearing the blade with my thumb. I managed to wrap my hand in a towel, pull some garments on, and have my roomie take me to the hospital for stitches. I didn’t understand till after I acquired dwelling that I nonetheless had the ring on.
Will, California

All’s properly that ends properly

My husband and I have been getting ready to exit to dinner. Whereas he was within the bathe, I went to place a candy Valentine’s Day card on his desk. On his laptop was an e-mail he had simply despatched to a lady he was having an affair with. When confronted about it, he lied. That was the top of Valentine’s Day, and the top of our marriage.

I’m now remarried to a a lot nicer, youthful, extra good-looking and extra nurturing man, so each Valentine’s Day, I wish to ship my ex a thanks observe!
Margaret, 55, California