No bab, Brummies don’t sound silly – all of the ignorant individuals who mock our accent do | Emily Watkins

It’s curious, what escapes folks’s thought of rudeness. As an example: declaring somebody’s weight is a unanimous no-go, however top – absolutely much more arbitrary – continues to be truthful sport. Ditto commenting derogatorily on the place somebody’s from – not less than, so long as it’s Birmingham, England’s second metropolis and first punchline for jokes about idiotic accents and common city bleakness.

As an unusually tall lady who grew up in that much-maligned metropolis, I’ve direct expertise of each, and might affirm that whereas they’re equally annoying, the latter is way more pernicious. It’s extraordinary what comes out of typically well mannered folks’s mouths after I inform them I’m from Birmingham – from hilarious fake condolences to variations on, “Oh, I hear it’s horrible.”

By far the commonest response, although, is a caricature echo – “Biiirrrmmingum!” – the joke being that the accent is terrible in addition to the town (so, so humorous!). All this, regardless that I by no means picked up the twang myself; not intentional, although I’m certain my lack of discernible Brummie accent has been protecting, socially and professionally.

When Kate Adie revealed the BBC’s (unofficial and historic) league desk of the nation’s least favorite accents, nobody was stunned to see who got here out worst – poor, picked-on Birmingham. Requested why he by no means used his native accent in reporting, Brummie journalist Michael Buerk apparently replied: “I didn’t need demise threats.” And in a research from 2008, researchers discovered that individuals who spoke with a Birmingham accent have been extra prone to be perceived as silly than those that didn’t open their mouths in any respect. Yikes.

Think about if somebody advised you they have been pregnant, and also you stated, “Oh what a disgrace, I hate kids.” Or that they have been a singer, and also you stated, “Music is so boring.” That unmediated negativity may sound ridiculous – however whereas I haven’t lived in Birmingham since I used to be 18, within the intervening years I don’t bear in mind listening to one constructive response after mentioning that I grew up there.

Truly, that’s not strictly true – sharing my Birmingham origins did serve me effectively as soon as, at a home get together the place a trio of Outdated Etonians in some way materialised, as in a fever dream. After I advised them the place I used to be from, their concern for my presumable lifetime of Dickensian deprivation was scrumptious to behold. One in every of them stated: “Gosh, I hear it’s frightfully city.”

To be clear, I don’t count on anybody to answer “Wow! I really like Birmingham!” after I say I’m from there – simply to reply with the nonchalance that another reply would elicit. I doubt anybody from Norwich or Exeter has encountered the baffling hostility that somebody from Birmingham grows used to, however possibly we should always flip the tables so that they know the way it feels. Chichester? Oh, you poor factor! York? A tragedy!

What’s extra, Brumphobia’s weird brazenness is barely amplified by the realisation that none of its victims appear to have truly visited. It’s not that I’m encountering a parade of people that have travelled to my dwelling city, been in some way traumatised and vowed by no means to return – quite the opposite, they hate it blindly, with an astounding self-confidence usually reserved for bona fide bigots. It’s virtually humorous, besides when it isn’t.

After I first moved cities, the overwhelming anti-Birmingham sentiment led me to (briefly) fudge my very own life story. Solid your thoughts again to the hell of freshers’ week and possibly you may forgive me. Newly impartial and navigating crippling social strain, I alternated between claiming London, the place I used to be born, or Sydney, the place my mum is from, for my origins. Look, there’s solely so many “Biiirrrmmingum”s a youngster can take – however finally, neither cowl story felt true, and I started to personal my roots.

At this time, I declare them with relish, steeling myself for the inevitable ”Biiirrrmmingum!” bait. “That’s so humorous, nobody’s ever stated that earlier than,” I reply, doing all the pieces in my energy to cease my eyes rolling out of my head. “Ever been?”

For those who haven’t, it’s best to. Birmingham is nice. Town is dynamic, numerous, open-hearted, and one of many friendliest locations within the UK. We’ve apparently received extra miles of canal than Venice, and everybody is aware of that what makes a canal stunning is how lengthy it’s. And as for the accent, it’s close to sufficient Shakespeare’s, for God’s sake!

Admittedly, 2025 is just not our best second – the council is successfully bankrupt and the continuing bin strike means the town is filled with cat-sized rats – but it surely’ll take greater than that to sink the nice ship Brum. Satirically, years of derision have made it impervious to outdoors criticism, and the accent will at all times really feel like dwelling to me. Its audio system don’t sound silly, however after years of fielding their jibes, I can affirm that the individuals who mock them actually do. Pay them no thoughts, bab.